I was away. In a sense. It dawned on me, a few months ago, that I love my job. I am becoming more and more consistent and my knowledge now is giving me this ” intuition” feeling that keeps me away from bad trades. Now let’s get this straight before I go any further: intuition here is of course sarcastic. It is based on the amount of experience I have been accumulating through the years. I now know how to read my charts like an open book- and when I don’t, I simply stay out. Yes, it is that simple.

And it has become rather boring. There is so much money you can make when you respect your plan and I can’t take more than 3 trades a day on average as I have a tendency to damage my eyes if I stay behind a computer for too long. But the truth is that I love to learn. I love the challenge. And staying behind my computer watching the mini-sized Dow was not enough anymore.

I wanted to do commodities. And maybe have a look at my old Nemesis- the FX market ( to be clear, I have never traded it much. But I still don’t get it). So I started studying the intermarket relationship. And then it hit me. It hit me hard because I was trying hard to figure out how all this work out and the more I studied, the less it made sense. Take gold for example. I saw some people swear that Gold would reach $2000 an ounce by mid 2009. Other say thatGold will go down the drain in a deflationary move like the rest of all commodities. I’ve heard of margin calls, deleveraging, governement selling and hedge funds panicking; I’ve listened to investors swear that they want to protect their assets and buy more; I’ve read articles about the fact that gold will explode once the selling by the biggies is done and overdone and the people’s action will actually sink in. But what I’ve learned most of all is that nobody knows what is happening. On a daily basis you have your reading. But in 3 months time, better ,in one or two years, what I see is guessing.

So I decided that there was a lot I didn’t know. In order to have a clue, I needed some fondations. Reading books as they come my way was not enough anymore. I wanted a structure. Something solid, to which I could go back and build my own vision. I didn’t want other people ‘s opinion, I wanted mine- not as a reaction to something I learn or I hear, based on some knowledge.

I went back to University. I registered for business studies before realising that I could make it simpler and go to Economics. Now the Uk system is a tad strange. If you want to register with the best Universities you have to go through a process of interviews, exams and a few other requirements and from my first contacts, it turned out that I was too old, not sponsored by any big companies or name and in short not interesting enough. Oh oh. On one phone call basis I was not straight away turned down but warned to look elsewhere. Although I am usually a fighter I decided that the wiser route was to prove myself and show that I was committed. So I registered with the very open minded Open University. And I enrolled straight away for two level one courses. I was told it was easy. Well…It was half true. One course is easy, one is not.

The easy one is all about money. It’s about income, taxes, insurance and the Uk system of finance. I love it. That’s probably why I find it easy. The other course is an introduction to business studies. It is a nightmare. It has more concepts per page than I have socks and knickers in my drawers. Most of them seem so complicated that I even dream about them. I have to reread every sentence three times before I even figure out what it meant. And I feel constantly stupid and slow because I have no idea about this stuff. It is not that i don’t understand it- it is that the way it is said and explained look so complicated. It looks to me as if someone tried hard to look clever and made it as complicated as they could. Then you read something like ” Outliers: The story of Success ” by Malcom Gladwell and you find half of one book explained and you go : ” Aaaahhh…why couldn’t they tell it like that?”.

But guess what, I’m not quitter. Although the matter doesn’t interest me one bit, I hold on. It looks like a real challenge. I have to be concise, to study hard and to respond to other people’s views. So I do it.

University is a whole new world. You find people who are keen on studying and people who make excuses for their lack of organisation. One thing you learn in trading is that ‘if you fail to plan, you plan to fail’. At University is becomes even truer. I end up spending most of my weekends studying and it took me two weeks to do my first 2 assignments as unfortunately it turned out that my two course each gave me an assignment for the same date. Anyway I did them the best I could- rewrote them about a dozen times and ended up praying that I had understood what I had been supposed to do. But I handed them one day early as I thought that what I wanted most now was some feedback- that would allow me to do better next time. I hope.

So now I’m working part time, studying the other part time and doing what i used to do anyway. It is extremely tiring but I am happy anyway. It is one of the first time I’m doing something entirely for myself. My family seems to accept this with a generosity without limits. The house looks alright although now they all have to participate and do tasks for me. Nobody’s complaining so far. I’m truly amazed- and blessed.

So here you go. I struggle of course- nothing’s ever easy. Otherwise everybody would do it. And the trade offs are to been seen. But I trust that I made the right choice and I’m looking forward to the future. I probably need the courage as this is just the beginning. I have my doubts about my abilities but the truth is- if I don’t try, I’ll never know. The sky’s the limit, the world is my oyster…All that sort of things.

So far I love it.

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